My thoughts,my words and my.........

I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee..

My eyes are an ocean in which my dreams are reflected..


 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year..


 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
Remember, it is better to light one little candle than to curse the darkness...
 
 
 
 

 
 

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

 Unspoken words just silent tear drops...these tears melt through my skin as they drown & fall.....




 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
The heart is happiest when it beats for others...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

When hearts listen, angels sing....


 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time....


 
 
 
 
 
 

Stranded

“Hi” & “Hello” is our simple beginning

What follows is true but astounding

Part of our lives we shared to one another

Trust and respect are always there.


Everyday is just so exciting

My worries disappear when we’re talking

You taught me to believe and live

To be myself and not grieve.


Everything was gone instantaneously

Waited for your buzz patiently

Spend the days thinking carefully

On reasons of feeling lonely.


Finally, I found the answers

I was held up on a journey

Falling in love and falling apart

Now I found myself with my love for you

Suddenly stranded

Reflections

Have you ever passed by the mirror and glanced at the person staring back at you and not recognized who it is??

Reflections of ones self are not always what you see on the outside.

The heart has it's own reflection, unseen, but felt so strongly, sometimes we try to run away from it. Thinking if we run fast enough and far enough, we'll out distance the truth that dwells within. A truth that there is no where to hide from, because it dwells within us, not something we can cover up with makeup or a smile.

Look in your partners eyes...what do you see reflected there??
Love, indifference, tolerance??

What ever you see or feel in any reflection, is your doing. Each one of us has the power to control our re-action to any one else's actions.

If you question your reflection and what you see , feel or don't feel anymore,
especially if in a relationship, you need to find out why or why not.
Running from yourself and your own unhappiness will only make you more miserable.

Running or straying from a relationship, where the reflection is not the desired one you wish to see or feel, is not the solution.

The solution is to calm the ripples you see on the suface, so that the current underneath doesn't develope an undertow that will drag you down, or your partner, and make you lose site of yourselves.

If you can't calm the inner turmoil, at least be honest to everyone involved, including yourself.
No-one deserves dishonesty in a relationship. If you fall out of love, and do not want, or can't stay, then leave. That is the only fair action you can take.
Stepping outside the relationship, to seek what you feel you lack, is not the answer.

NEVER !! underestimate what your reflection reveals to others. If you feel guilt or shame....love and happiness.......unhappiness, or trapped.....those emotions will be reflected in your eyes.

Your eyes are the mirror of your inner most desires and those who look, will see what you, either, wish to reveal or what it is you are trying to hide.

Peace

when children are too scared to go to bed and sleep


you know the world has fallen too deep


bombs going off as warning threats


soldiers laughing and making bets


killing each other has become a game


yet they live on – without any shame


boys playing cops and robbers with plastic


is where they learn and plan their best tactic


boys so young, being dragged to war – for who?


fighting for reasons that they don’t want to


see where mans’ greed has lead


parents weeping when they learn their boys are dead


the whole world is participating in a pointless fight


day time is over, the world is dark as night


innocent people are being destroyed inside


when they said we would be in peace – they lied


babies raped and many left to die


mothers not having a chance to say goodbye


the end is upon our nation


do you think God planned this in His creating?


being sick of all the pain caused by others


we should love each other – be brothers


drugs and prostitution are making our world decay


a part of everything dies each day


we have created a ticking bomb with each crime


except now we watch and laugh by paying a dime


how many times must we hear the children’s’ screams?


there are no such things as ambitions or dreams


when will we all wake up and see?


what the world will turn out to be


when will we realize we need more love?


maybe only when everyone is floating above.

Play Life at a Higher Level

Do you know of anyone who always blames someone else for their problems, They claim "its not their fault that they are unhappy in their job, don't earn enough money, didn't get enough education"… and so the story goes on.

On the other hand you most probably know someone who takes responsibility for their life no matter what gets thrown at them. They come from a different way of thinking looking for how they can find solutions and get the best results.

Be the driver of your life, not the passenger and stepUP and take ownership of your outcomes and what you want. The joy in your life will come from the journey you create whilst steering your bus in the direction you want to go to and most importantly have fun with it!!!

The Dance

I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don't jump up and shout, "Yes, this is what I want! Let's do it!"
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiralling down into the ache within the ache.
And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don't tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don't tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall,
to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul's desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs you want our children's children to remember, and I will show you how I struggle
not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don't say, "Yes!"
Just take my hand and dance with me.

This is what True Love is all about

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a.m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him look at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer' s Disease .

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are? "

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, " She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Simplicity Of Life

Life will be wonderful if everything is Simple. "A Simple Understanding","A Simple Touch","A Simple Word",
"A Simple Love", and all lead to a simplicity of life but yet is the hardest to achieve in this complicated world as not everyone is simplehearted.
You don't have to be my lover to be my special someone, all I need is a simple friend who have a pure simple soul... Someone who I can share my tear, laughter, care & love in a simple friendship... A special someone who we can share a simple life in our simple minds ... A simple wish from me to all the simplehearted people out there...

Lessons Of Life

I feared being alone
until I learned to like
myself.

I feared failure
until I realized that I only
fail when I don't try.

I feared success
until I realized
that I had to try
in order to be happy
with myself.

I feared people's opinions
until I learned that
people would have opinions
about me anyway.

I feared rejection
until I learned to
have faith in myself.

I feared pain
until I learned that
it's necessary
for growth.

I feared the truth
until I saw the
ugliness in lies.

I feared life
until I experienced
its beauty.

I feared death
until I realized that it's
not an end, but a beginning.

I feared my destiny,
until I realized that
I had the power to change
my life.

I feared hate
until I saw that it
was nothing more than
ignorance.

I feared love
until it touched my heart,
making the darkness fade
into endless sunny days.

I feared ridicule
until I learned how
to laugh at myself.

I feared growing old
until I realized that
I gained wisdom every day.

I feared the future
until I realized that
life just kept getting
better.

I feared the past
until I realized that
it could no longer hurt me.

I feared the dark
until I saw the beauty
of the starlight.

I feared the light
until I learned that the
truth would give me
strength.

I feared change,
until I saw that
even the most beautiful butterfly
had to undergo a metamorphosis
before it could fly.

3rd Serving

My brew
Brewed itself
And washed
My own cup.
I have drowned
In this well.
My spoon stirs
All doubts.
Sugar’s no use
When something
As stale as this
Blinds the heart,
Abused,
And licked
With a kiss.

Was it a kiss?

I pursed my lips
Upon the scent
Of a bitter brew
In honey.
I pushed the muffin,
Plate-full;
I have been full
Yet hungry.
I sat myself near
The nearest window
And spat;
Spit landing on a cup
Below.
My hot cup turning cold,
And my spoon,
Silver,
Shiny –
How many have I used?
The 4th, 5th, 6th –
I counted 11,
Including you.
This cup of you
Never lies.
It never did
(unlike you).
The froth,
Camouflaged;
The brew,
Good for two.

2nd Serving

Another cup,
Two more drops –
I wasted my own time
Stirring,
Tasting
What I thought was mine.
Too much sugar,
A quarter of water
And the aroma
Smells familiar.

Bitter?

No.
Made sour by the sweet.
The sweet,
Sweetened by spit.
My own tongue
And spit
Mixed with caffeine;
Indulgence
Is a game
Played fair by two.
Your flair for games
And my flair,
You.
We mixed water
With powder,
Added a heap of sugar.
Where’s the milk?
No honey
Or concentrated brew.
I make one for me
And three-fourths full
For you.
Too hot!
You say,
Too hot for your taste.
And so, I replace yours
With mine,
Careful not to waste
A single drop of caffeine goodness
That I once stirred
And brewed myself –
Once,
I believed
You deserve nothing
But the best.

A homeless girl

She sits in the dark ally way, alone, curled up next to a rusty, old garbage bin. She is trying to keep as much heat with her as possible. Her clothes - dirty, urine stained, rags and her long, messy, tangled, black hair are the only things keeping her warm.

A stream of tears roll down her cheeks but she makes no sound as she hears shot guns and screams of worried women getting fainter and fainter. She covers her ears with her small hands and squeezes her eyes shut, recalling happy memories of family dinners. rice, fried chicken and fruit salad, a blanket for her food - and she scrapes her plate clean with a smile and a satisfied tummy. Suddenly she hears a loud rumbling noise, like a volcano about to erupt, and she is forced back to reality. Her stomach is in pain; hungry, begging to be fed.

A bright gold flashes in the thin strip of sky she can see, and it lets out a loud "bang!". Another colour flashes, this time pink, then red and green. Her dark-brown eyes widen, showing amazement and happiness for the first time in ages. The colours reflect in her eyes as her cracked lips mouth the word "fireworks".

Everything is now quiet, except for the angry shouts of drunks, far in the distance, and some jeepneys blowing their horns. All the children have gone home, safe and sound, snug in their warm beds. Laying flat on the cold ground, her skin is numb from the cold wind and she feels left out. A loud rumble comes from her stomach again as she rolls over moaning. The brick walls on either side of her are towering over her and she feels small and hopeless.

A dog hoots softly near by as she rests her eyes. Humming a tune to a song her father would always sing to her. She hears it echo down the alleyway and goes back to her dreams, where things are happy and she is safe. Living in the past, she hides from the world she lives in today.

untitled

Yet another night gone past when pain has spoiled my sleep. Perhaps I need to increase my pain-killers just to get a full nights sleep. Not something I intend to do as I am not keen on tablets at the best of times. Rising early though does have its benefits. I really enjoy the peace and quiet in my house in the early hours.


There seems to be a blessing with every hardship that comes my way. I stayed in my bed after waking and meditated for a while.

I started to think about the desires that were uppermost in my heart, the things that I have longed for, for many a long year. Things that I truly desired to see in this life. Things that I had prayed earnestly for only hours earlier, before my head hit my pillow, yet things that still seem to elude me...

Daydream

Whenever I day dream,
and day dream I do,
in my secret garden,
I day dream of you.

I day dream of you,
in a faraway land;
embracing me tight
and holding my hand.

Holding my hand,
and touching my face.
Just you and me,
in this peaceful place.

In this peaceful place
a pristine river flows.
Where the unicorns run,
a breeze always blows.

A breeze always blows
and sings of a song;
our love in a place
where you're never gone.

Where you're never gone
is as it would seem,
from dusk until dawn,
whenever I day dream.

And whenever I day dream,
and day dream I do,
in my secret garden,
I day dream of you.

The Pots

An elderly woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house." The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

(So... to all of my crackpot friends, have a beautiful day and remember
to stop and smell the flowers on your side of the path!)

Medium

Waking up I smell the scent of coffee on the brew, and I think about the amount of the sweet, I'd like to have in my cup today. One for the two lump, three lump, four. No half of one, no less no more. Just give me a chance, let me make it mine. I'd like a medium blend of that piece of pie.

Not too bitter, not too sweet... Medium. Just enough to start my beat... Medium. Not too bitter, not too sweet... Medium. Just enough to start my beat... Medium.

Dinner time just rolls around, and I think I crave a steak but, I'm not too partial to the meat, when it's cooked too long and I'm made to wait. Not too much of the parsony, and just enough of the spice. I think I'd enjoy a medium-rare dish with a side of fries.

Not too tender, not too tough...
Medium. Not too little, just enough... Medium. Not too tender, not too tough... Medium. Not too little, just enough... Medium. Medium. Medium. Medium. Medium. Just a medium. Medium.

Tale of a Gothic Princess

Princess Dominica looked so beautiful

All dressed in black

With white make-up and dark purple lips

She sat on the throne so full of majesty

The onlookers were dazzled by her beauty

And worshipped the ground she walked upon

The King was not well

And expected to die soon

And the Queen had died long ago

So the young princess would soon rule the Kingdom

Everyone was impressed with her intelligence and grace

She carried out her duties without question or complaint

And she would always greet new visitors with a smile

Once the audience was over she would return to her rooms

In the privacy of her own room she would cut her wrists

And let the blood pour into a bowl

She would force food down her throat until she could eat no more

Then she would go to the lady’s room and be violently sick

Underneath all her garments she was painfully thin

She felt so much pressure to be beautiful

She had many suitors but none that she loved

A stranger from abroad arrived one day

And stole her heart

But he was not a suitable match for a princess

A handsome sailor of common stock

She pleaded with her father to let her marry

But he doggedly refused her request

One night she took the blade

And slit both her wrists

Not a cry for attention

But an attempt to take her life

Living was a torment to her

The expectations too high

The rewards lacking in true value

Her dead body was found the next morning

And all the towns folk mourned her death

The beautiful princess had departed this land

And headed off above the clouds

To find a happier resting place

A traditional Gothic funeral was held

To celebrate her life

Many fine words were said

And then her body was buried

Under a thousand red roses

Her Cousin Isabella was now next in line

And took over the royal duties

A heavy burden for a fifteen year old to deal with

“So many souls are sacrificed on the road to glory”

Bingkisan Harian Manusia... Adakah ia Benar Berlaku...

Manusia didalam pelembahan..dalam kekalutan kehidupan metropolitan.

Apakah yang dikejar-kejarkan?? Sesuatu yang indah sering diimpikan, yang pahit sukar dilupakan dan mengapa sukar memaafkan?

Siapa daku di mata hati dan perasaan manusia...

Sudut kecil hatimu mencoretkan kelemahan yang sukar diatasi. Tapi boleh diperbaiki. Hakikat manusia sering di salah erti. Zaman berganti demi waktu yang dicengkam keganasan masa. Resah atau gelisah?? Pencapaian bukan mudah tapi masih dikecapi. Dalam kesingkatan hidupku mencetuskan perjanjianku. Panggung sandiwara di atas pentas ku melakonkan watak-watak keikhlasan. Pengkritik, pengkhianat dan pelbagai lagi...Namun di jiwai oleh melodi yang berentak pasrah. Dinobatkan dicalonkan dalam katogeri berasingan. Menyerahkan segala yang tertulis. Mampukah aku dikau dan sesiapa menolong dan menghamparkan kelukaan yang sudah mengelut di benak naluri...Cuba mencari jalan tapi tidak menepati segala kepuasan akhirnya redha akur menghadapi. Yang nyata kebenaran tiada siapa yang sempurna dan tidak ada yang mampu melakukan segalanya dalam satu masa serentak. Dari itu belajar untuk tidak ragu-ragu dalam membuat keputusan yang kita ambil dan berani menghadapinya. Takut pada risiko itu benar kalau kita tak mencuba dan harungi. Memahami apa yang di ingini dan melaksanakan tugas itu adalah amanah untuk dikotakan dan ia menjadi tuntutan. Memang tiada siapa berhak dalam memutuskan dan mengukur atur langkah kerna manusia ada cara keistimewaan nya yang tersendiri. Lepaskan ia pergi kerna ia akan pulang membawa sebuah impian dan hasrat murni. Pergilah jauh kerna aku tidak dimiliki dan engkau tak dimiliki. Jangan berjalan di bumi ini dengan kesombongan yang menongkat keangkuhan. Tiada batasan dan sempadan antara mereka. Landasan dan garisan membuat diri didalam jaring pemisah. Jangan hanya kerna satu kegagalan kemudian biarkan diri ini patah di tengah jalan..Lihatlah alam dan carilah jalan petunjuk yang menyinari..dari situ ikutlah kata hati. Mudah-mudahan hidup akan bersinar kembali..walaupun gagal di pertengahan. Jangan salahkan takdir kerna itu adalah kehendak diri. Jangan menuding jari pada sesiapa kerna kekurangan yang tersirat mungkin rahsia itu tidak kita cungkil mendalam dan merasa kekurangan. Atas dasar itu kita rasa terpencil dan memendam rasa..pernahkah kita bersyukur atas nikmat diberikan nya...dengan ikhlas dan redha? tersirat dan yang tersurat di jalan ini meneruskan menempuh kehidupan harian dengan penuh keyakinan dan keimanan..

untitled

Once again i wish to write about happiness
I wish to write about that eternal bliss
About me walking down that straight road
With no bumps and crazy turns
But like I said
I wanted to write about happiness
But sadly this is not the case
I am on a road with so much of sudden curves
That could break the most strongest of nerves
Leading into what I believe has nothing good for me
Alone and cold
Detached from the rest of the world
So the only thing that makes me know I'm real
Is the pain I get once my arm bleeds...

Picture from my mind

Stayed at home today
The silence prevails in the room
Just the sound of the stove and the falling rains drops
Outside and through my window
The rain falls on the grass and the road
I stand watching the green fields and the sky
Which had covered by a gray clouds
Amazing picture has drown by the god

To be contained…

Yellow Colour

I am a yellow crayon inside a crayon box
I have no hands and no feet
But if you like to color
I know you and I will soon meet

I’m not used as much as red
Or maybe even green
But I’m always lurking somewhere
In every picture you’ve seen

I am the color of the sun
On a bright summer day
I bring light to the world
And make the darkness go away

I am the color of a canary bird
Flying through the air
With its wings spread wide
It can go anywhere





I am the color of daisies
That you pass by on the street
Children pick them for their mom’s
They make a lovely treat

And I am the color of hope
I’m there when people get down
Just one look at me
And I’ll get rid of your frown

So you see
I’m everywhere you look
I’m in the picture on your wall
I’m in a child`s coloring book

So if you would like to meet me
And have a little chat
Just open up the box
I`m the yellow crayon in the back

The Mask!

In the world of lies. so many masks are supposed to be used, some are used by only one owner and some by many.
The mask can be classified into vary categories depending on one who classified. The mask having the highest frequency of being used is generally known as the mask of virtue.
'Nobody wants to be a bad guy' is the reason why so many men mask themselves from the fault they did. They left their sin behind and play the role of virtue outside.
However, we all know the truth that every human in this world has both good and bad side. But human try to disguise themselves from the bad side by showing out the good side of them. Human is shy to confess their fault so they have to 'lie'.
Have you ever faced with someone behind the mask? The answer is surely supposed to be 'Yes'. Every ordinary people in the living world, especially living city, has worn the mask intentionally or unconsciously.
The only one thing the world could hope is there's still someone .. just someone .. who still believes in his real virtue, who braves to face with the sin he built and could find the way to continue his life without 'Lie'.

The Best of Portraits

As I stare closely at my wall clock, I noticed this lizard who patiently waits for this butterfly that was trapped inside my room…Considering the butterfly’s beauty, the patience being shown by the lizard and the 3 hands of the clock, something profound has been portended in my thoughts..
Time.. I’m kind of confused to say that it is gold, because if it is, I’m going to steal millions of clocks in exchange for gold bars. Got it?It is something that those three fumy musketeers inside a clock tried to kill since their invention yet until now they hinge on Eveready batteries just to keep on trying , But I think, somehow, they wont chase time forever in the name of justice...It's a revelation that in time, time must worth nothing as forever will begin in a place of bliss and for some, the place of perdition.
Well for all I know , “Under time’s supremacy, life-satisfaction and a life-loss cling.”
For time is living a life.As for life is death ; as death is for life. Yet time is after God...
Patience… the one that abided on that lizard. (and I felt too eager for him to catch that butterfly.) It is something that chases us often. It is learned after repentance. A thing we spend for shallowness and runs out like an oxygen whenwe’re 6000ft deep into the blue facing a shark of our own image.
Beauty; Shown by the butterfly We all know what beauty is.. Well anyway, I wonder how beauty was sculpted within our perceptions and thoughs. What our conception about beauty was amalgamated with worldly views and tangibility prejudiced over the unseen and meanings.Wherein, that conception created an isolation and worse it ignited discrimination..For beauty is something never been set. It is something being discovered. It is serendipity… It is serenity… It is the wind that lifts our spirit. It is something incorruptible, or, when it does, it never causes depression; for beauty always lies positively. I think thru all of that , only a word meets an exemption: “nature“. It is the nature of an entity...For one's nature must be naturally felt..
Time never owned patience, but, it’s patience who seems to engulf time seeking for beauty..
I say, “There’s nothing so powerful as an idea whose time has come.”
So I let the butterfly flew as I open an east-placed window and embrace the morning's sweet breeze.

a carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean.
Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.
If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?
Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Welcome To My Humble Page: This Dying Soul

Welcome To My Humble Page: This Dying Soul

RENUNGAN MEMUJUK HATI.....

Mungkin Tuhan sengaja..
mahu kita berjumpa dengan orang yang salah
sebelum menemui insan yang betul
supaya apabila kita akhirnya
menemui insan yang betul,
kita akan tahu bagaimana untuk bersyukur
dengan nikmat pemberian
dan hikmah di sebalik pemberian tersebut.

Ingatlah...
Apabila salah satu pintu kebahagiaan tertutup,
yang lain akan terbuka
tapi lazimnya kita....
kita akan memandang pintu
yang telah tertutup itu terlalu lama
hinggakan kita tidak nampak
pintu yang telah pun dibukakan untuk kita.

Kawan yang paling baik ialah
seseorang yang anda boleh duduk
didalam buaian dan berbuai bersama
tanpa berkata apa-apa pun
dan kemudian berjalan pulang
dengan perasaan bahawa itulah
perbualan yang paling hebat yang
pernah dialami.

Memang benar...
kita tidak tahu apa yang telah kita punyai
sehinggalah.......
kita kehilangannya
dan juga benar.......
bahawa kita tidak tahu apa yang
kita rindukan..
sehinggalah ‘ia’ datang memberi seseorang

Seluruh cinta anda bukanlah satu kepastian
yang mereka akan menyintai anda kembali!
jangan harapkan cinta sebagai balasan.
nantikan sahaja ia
untuk mekar di dalam hati mereka
tapi sekiranya ia tidak
pastikanlah ia terus mekar di dalam hati anda.

Kerna....
ia cuma mengambil masa seminit
untuk jatuh hati pada seseorang,
satu jam untuk menyukai seseorang,
satu hari untuk menyintai seseorang
tetapi ia..........
mengambil masa sepanjang hidup
untuk melupakan seseorang.

Jangan pandang kepada kecantikan
kerana boleh jadi ia palsu,
Jangan kejar kemewahan
kerana ianya akan susut,

carilah seseorang.....
yang membuatkan anda tersenyum
kerana ia cuma
memerlukan sekuntum senyuman
untuk mencerahkan hari yang suram
Carilah yang membuat hati anda tersenyum.

akan tiba satu ketika
di dalam kehidupan apabila anda
teramat rindu seseorang
sehingga anda ingin mengapainya
dari mimpi anda dan memeluknya
dengan sebenar.

Mimpilah apa yang anda ingin mimpikan ,
pergilah kemana - mana yang
ingin anda tujui dan
jadilah apa yang anda inginkan
kerana anda
hanya memiliki satu kehidupan
dan satu peluang untuk melakukan semua
perkara yang ingin anda lakukan.

Semoga anda memiliki
kebahagiaan yang cukup
untuk membuatkan diri anda menarik,
percubaan yang cukup untuk membuatkan anda kuat,
kesedihan yang cukup untuk memastikan anda seorang insan
dan......
harapan yang cukup untuk membuatkan anda bahagia .

Selalu bayangkan diri anda
di dalam kasut seseorang
jika anda rasa ianya menyakitkan anda,
fikirlah ia mungkin menyakitkan
orang lain juga.

Kabahagiaan seseorang manusia
tidak semestinya dalam
memiliki semuanya yang terbaik
mereka hanya membuat yang terbaik
dalam hampir apa saja yang datang
di dalam perjalanan hidup mereka.

Kebahagaiaan terletak kepada mereka yang menangis ,
mereka yang terluka ,
mereka yang telah mencari dan
mereka yang telah mencuba.
Hanya mereka yang boleh menghargai
kepentingan manusia yang
telah menyentuh hidup mereka.

Cinta bermula dengan senyuman,
mekar dengan ciuman
dan berakhir
dengan tangisan.
Masa depan yang cerah
sentiasa berteraskan kehidupan yang lalu yang telah dilupakan.

Anda tidak boleh
meneruskan kehidupan dengan sempurna
sehingga anda melupakan
kegagalan dan kekecewaan masa silam.

Semasa anda dilahirkan,
anda menangis dan
orang disekeliling anda tersenyum.
Teruskanlah hidup anda
supaya apabila anda mati nanti,
andalah yang akan tersenyum
dan orang sekeliling anda pula
yang akan menangis.

SAHBATKU KEKASIHKU

Bila kau tak ada disampingku
Aku sangat merindukanmu
Kehadiranmu disisiku
Hanyalah angan dan impianku
Yang tak mungkin akan bersatu

Sahabat maafkanlah aku
Jika aku menyayangimu
Karena setiap kali aku di sampingmu
Aku merasa kau adalah milikku
Tapi semua itu hanyalah ilusi belaka

Yang selalu ada dalam hatiku
Tak tau kenapa semakin lama
Aku bertemu dan dekat denganmu
Hatiku menjadi luluh dan merasa bahwa kaulah
Yang terindah yang selama ini aku cari

CINTA YANG TERLUKA

Kini aku mulai merasa
Ada jarak antara kita
Tak tau kenapa aku menyesal
Telah ungkapkan isi hatiku

Aku tak ada niat menyakitimu
Karena aku sangat menyayangimu
Aku tak akan meminta balas
atas cintaku
Karena aku hanya ingin kau tau
Betapa tulusnya cintaku

Hati ini terluka saat
Dirimu jauh dariku
Mungkin semua itu salah
Dan kebodohanku terlalu mencintaimu

Kenapa kau tidak jujur
Untuk semua
Dan dirimu telah membuatku
terlalu berharap
maafkanlah atas salahku
mencintaimu teman

SESAL ATAS KEBODOHANKU

cinta yang terpendam
tak pernah terungkap
bila waktu kan ada
pastikan ku dapat

begitu anggun dirimu
tak sanggup aku menahan
beban rasa yang terpendam
dan akhirnya ku katakan
bahwa aku sayang kamu

ternyata semua itu
mebuat hilang beban rasa
walaupun berakhir penyesalan
namun rasa ini takkan
berhenti menyayangimu

sesalku hanya kebodohanku
kenapa ini harus terungkap
perasaanku bila semua
membuatku jauh dari mu
karena hanya satu yang ku mau
yaitu selalu dekat denganmu
tuk menunggu datangnya waktu

SULIT TUK MELUPAKANMU

ku tak sanggup saat ingin melepaskan mu karena ku tak ingin jauh darimu
terpaksa aku pendam rasa yang tak mungkin kau terima walau kau telah tau semua atas perasaanku

entah mengapa aku sulit tuk melupakan dan menghapus semua tentang perasaanku yang selalu menggebu

Facebook bollox...

Its almost 3 in the morning and im on my crazy mode...so..i decided to venture into Facebook...used my 11 year old yahoo mail account...my yahoo showed that i have 113 contacts in face book...
Damn...looking threw the list of ppl...and i found soooo many folks from back then...my schooling days...but... that would result to me getting wif the pack...and joining the herd...and i dont wanna do that...this world is sooo small....one can only imagine the posibilities of bumping into a fellow aquantence...but thats not what i want....what i want is ...to broaden my horizens...and not stick to this one single gene pool....i want to break free from this community totally....i need to....in order to discover more...

Bitter Sweet

Writing out bittersweet poetry. Rhythm form lines which keeps me in my zone. Looking at the sky trying to reach my peak. Beneath my feet stumbling over the devils feet. In between feeling smuttier. Feeling low god why you gotta take me under. Close to perfection I try to be. Failure what I see I strive to be. Pain in my lung makes it hard to breath. Coughing up memories which I try to leave. Close me eyes I feel what I'm destined to be. But still don't have the courage to see what I'm pose to see. Words improve from time to time that stay sweet but leave my blood bitter at the same time. Open my eyes feel my heartbeat rewind which gives me my rhythm to unwind. Mountains moves as my pain gets the best of me. Feelin like it rain for 30 days and my soul. But still try to stay bold so my future can be untold to me.

This Dying Soul

Oh how I long for happiness....
Happiness, a word that seems to be loosing its meaning and value in my world.Some are lucky to experience it, others...like me for example...are not as fortunate....Happiness to me is like a song which is over played on the radio waves...overplayed till u'r ears start bleeding when the first tune hits the ear drums....u get so sick of feeling it's end that u start to get sick of it starting..Just like Love, Happiness is SUPPOSED to be eternal and everlasting...but instead Power seems to be more and more eternal and everlasting...
When I think about it...all those fairy tales I grew up watching and reading seems to have even less meaning then it once did."Love Conquers All" , "Good Vanquishes Evil" , "Power is Fleeting while Love is Eternal" , all of which most fairy tales are based on, are logically rubbish, and yet the human mind believes that it is gospel truth and prays for it to actually happen, which then in-turn makes the human mind weak and allow the heart to hurt.The False hope of Love bringing Happiness, when it seems that Power has always been able to control and make way for that same Love and Happiness that we all want to feel, and yet traveling down the road to Power demands that the tool to feel Love and Happiness is to be disabled and done-away with. I laugh at such an irony.How much is the heart able to endure till it turns cold and stony ? Never to be warm and kind, never to allow love to enter its doors,yet still praying for happiness.
Perhaps I'm looking at it wrong, perhaps these are the signs of a heart which is turning into a Godless Shrine, light is slowly dimming due to the lack of prayers and worship to the Almighty.I was taught that "With God all is possible".Perhaps the reason why my soul seems lifeless is due to the lack of prayer and worship. After all when was the last time i gave thanks to my God? I shamefully admit that i have neglected God, though i have no excuse as to why i have done this. This is the part of me that needs fixing.
But what if....even after i have returned to God and my heart still feels like the void, what then?........

BENEATH THIS MASK OF SORROW

Perhaps by chance you seek romance
beneath this mask of sorrow
a soul that rises from the dead
and steals away tomorrows.
***
Compelled to walk, in dark I stalk
thorns to crown my head
disquieted and deeply etched
desires needing fed.
***
A canopy of starlite sea
in wake of full moonlight
behold the queen of passions dream
sweet mistress of the night.
***
Above dark skies, unwitnessed cries
I choose each host at random
to hear each sigh, as humans die
I judge without abandon.
**
No sorrow lies, within these eyes
I mask what would repel
devoid of all compassion
completely in my spell.
***
No heart, no soul, no thought control
I reep from dusk till dawn
a myth you say, a gothic play
the order that I count on.
***
Closed minds who seek my sweet relief
are hushed beyond pretence
that knowing gesture disbelief
red velvet tears of silence
***
Behind this mask, a vampire's task
each kiss a passion thrill
the lusting for your beating heart
the seduction of the kill.

Life

Sometimes things don't go according to plan.
Life could be practically perfect one minute, and in the next, it could come crashing down.
Wether it's and accident, or some sinister plan, some things are just beyond our control.
Things do happen for a reason. Reasons we may not understand.
There's something out there for everyone, you just gotta get out there and find it.
Sometimes in life you gotta take risks to get places.
Take a leap into the unknown.
You never know what you may find.
Your whole life as you know it can change in one instant.
With one decision. So choose wisely.
But always remember, only you can decide whats best for yourself.
Be careful what you wish for and most important of all: letting go is not forgetting.
Your could live your life and one day decide you're living the wrong one.
A new lifestyle emerges and the past is behind you.
You're not running away, you're starting over.
Brand spankin' new.
Don't ever forget who you are.
I guess what i'm trying to say is life's tough sometime's but we all find a way through it.

"We should learn to live our life and love being in it..."

"And never let anyone ruin your dreams.
let them help to fix your mistakes on the way..."

Happy Valentine's Day!

Ahh, Valentine's day... The holiday meant to be spent on that special someone... The event on which people go around buying silly things made out of papermache, pieces of chocolate wrapped in shiny paper, and a bunch of clear stones that, no matter what color or shape it has, recieve the name of diamond anyway. This holiday receives many names; a few of which are listed here...

Firstly, it is called "Nightmare Day" by losers worldwide, for the obvious reason of not having a date. They see the persona of their dreams walking around and cuddling with the popular bastard from school. The situation becomes desperate, as losers try to conquer any random individual in order to provoke jealousy on the aforementioned persona. But, in reality, it doesn't work. Losers end up either: with milk on their pants, with an ugly mark after hitting an open locker door, or dizzy after having sex with someone as desperate as they were.

Secondly, it is known as "Hell on Earth" by married men everywhere. Women become devils during this time of the year, demanding for stupid stuff like flowers, chocolate boxes, a necklace, and, in some parts of Asia, a goat sacrifice. Men, at a frantic attempt at satisfying the women, began to take out money resources from every place possible in order to afford the stuff. In the end, the pleasing wasn't worth it, because the men can't even afford to be paid back, and the women keep on bitching...

Dating couples know this day as "Movie, Steak and Doggy-Style Night." It is self-explanatory.

Internet geeks and emo kids go outside and try to forget about the holiday; known as "Boredom day" by the many communities. Geeks are willing to leave their computers behind for this day only, while emos actually have the feeling of doing something outside. The night usually starts with the geeks whistling to themselves, and emos writing bad poetry. In the end, they both share the same ending: it can be either just another nightmare in their sleep.

Finally, single people take this day as a regular day and do not give it a title. It has been declared, however, that it should be called "Liquor Control Day," as most singles wake up nine hours later with some fat person on their beds with them. This is argued due to the extremely rare exceptions that take place.
It doesn't really matter what your views on Valentine's day are... As long as you don't regret your choice, you are fine. This, of course, doesn't apply to those who ended up killing themselves.

Blood Dreams

All of the following dreams happened about a month or so apart even though they seam to be connected.

1. I awake in a completely white room, naked and wondering why and what I am doing there. A griping pain runs through my left arm making me grab it suddenly. It’s then I realise that there is blood running from what seems to be an exploding vein. As soon as I have noticed the first, many other veins begin to burst and leak blood until the entire room, which was white now is red and I’m screaming for help.

2. I am walking through a carnival/circus show with loads of acts and stalls all around calling for people’s attention. My attention is brought to a room/cage with to eye holes cut into the side and the sign above says THE AMAZING LEAKING MAN or THE INCREDIBLE EXPLODING MAN (I forget what exactly). Curiously I take a peak inside only to find a naked person inside bleeding from every part of his body. As the figure turns round to face me I realise, that person is me.

3. I am in a social type environment like a bar or a club. A young lady is staring at me for quite a while. Thinking that she may be taking a liking to me I approach her to talk but before I can open my mouth she interrupts me by saying “I KNOW WHO YOU ARE”
“IM SORRY I DON’T THINK I KNOW YOU. HAVE WE MET BEFORE”
“NO… BUT I KNOW WHO YOU ARE”.
At this she pulls up her sleave to reveal a tattoo on her upper arm. On closer inspection I realise that the tattoo is of me bleeding. The tattoo is far more detailed than any I have seen before and it seems to be moving. Animated.

4. I am crossing the street which seems to be the street outside the bar where I met the strange young lady. It’s raining very hard. Generally a miserable night. I’m soaked through and have walked for some time now. As I try to shrug off some of the wet I notice that I am not just wet but im covered in red. I panic as I think I must be bleeding from somewhere and franticly search my body trying to find the location of the wound. Unable to see where the blood is coming from I stop and look up at what I thought was the pouring rain, only to see a giant statue in the middle of the town centre. The statue is of me bleeding real blood raining down on the entire town.

5. Im being dragged naked down a corridor by two orderlies who don’t care how much I kick and scream they keep there firm grip on me. I am scared shitless as horrible nightmares race through my mind as what they could want with me or do to me. All of a sudden they come to an open door and throw me in hard. I tumble and fall like a rag doll into the room. As I stand I realise im in a completely white room. I actually realise this is the same room from the original dream and panic as I await the inevitable bleeding. Sure enough a pain grips my left am, the vein pops and the blood flows. I look at the walls waiting for them to become red with my blood it’s then I realise that there is eye holes in every wall except the wall with the door. I look through the first eye holed wall and see a naked women scared. She screams and her period begins to flow heavy between her legs which in turn seems to start the same bleeding I am suffering. I quickly approach the second wall a peer through to see a baboon going crazy bleeding all over the place. Shiting myself I relucktently peep through the third eye hole and see myself at the carnival staring at me horrified bleeding.

On Snakes and Ladders

They say that history will keep on repeating itself, that is, until you learn to live the lesson that you are supposed to get out of it.

it gets tiring sometimes, you know -- watching people walk in and out of your life. you get close to someone and you start getting used to having them around. just when you start to enjoy each other's company, either a good opportunity, an emergency or anything impossible to resist knocks on their door.

next thing you know, you're bidding your farewells and giving goodbye hugs to each other. most of the time, you are left with no choice but to just deal with it.

you are left behind and you try to move on, only to realize later on that you are walking on a treadmill and you are right where you started -- you're back to square one. you're alone and you're trying to find your way into whatever it is that will probably give you at least a hint of happiness. then you find out that the person whom you used to walk with is doing so well on their own. not yet where they wants to go, maybe, but is headed towards the right direction. you feel happy for them and yet there is something holding you back, holding you back from being fully happy for the other person. it's not because of envy and it's not because you do not want to see that person finally get to where they wants to be in.

sometimes, it's the thought that you could have been there with that person, holding his or her hand while taking that path and crossing that line.

but even snakes and ladders has its ups and downs, and unfortunately for you, stepping on the snake means it's time to let go.

"You'll get there, you'll be happy too. you just have to roll the dice a few times more and learn to accept your own mistakes with the consequences and take the risk."